so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
