All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
