i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
