Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
