i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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