i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
