I seem to have left my pride at pride
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
