Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
