I like my sex mixed with concussions.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
