found the other keg... it's in the tree
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
