Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
