walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
