And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
