im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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