Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
