He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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