Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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