Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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