His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is the high leading the old right now
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
