I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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