so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
