How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
