Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
