At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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