Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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