Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
