they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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