we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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