Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Randomize
