I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
