The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
