I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
