Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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