apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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