Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
