he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
