im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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