Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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