my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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