tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We left the knife in your bed.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
