I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
