I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
