Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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