Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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