THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
