But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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