can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
