It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
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