real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
