If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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