The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
