i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
